Long time

Wow! So I pretty much forgot that I had a blog. It has been almost 1.5 years since I last posted. I am kinda embarrassed about it....

So, my husband loves Christmas. It is absolutely his favorite holiday. Ever year he seems to get a little bit of Christmas present in the house earlier and earlier. At first he would hang the lights the week before Thanksgiving, but not turn them on until the day after. The next year he would turn them on Thanksgiving evening as the guests pulled away. This year he had them on all Thanksgiving day. Did I forget to mention that he also had the ENTIRE house decorated the Saturday before Thanksgiving this year? My husband is truly a kid at heart when it comes to this special holiday season.

I used to be adamant about "no Christmas" until after Thanksgiving. But, the excitement on the girls faces and the wonderful memories that are brought forth when this or that trinket is pulled from the Christmas boxes is awesome. I think my husband's pre-Thanksgiving Christmas love is catching. Goodness knows that girls already have it.

Let's see how early our holiday cheer is out next year. Happy Holidays!

The Power of an Accessory

While at work the other day I had a sudden epiphany. As I folded, straightened and sighed my coworker stopped and looked at me. With a smile she said,"You look really nice today." After my thank you response we continued on with our work and helping of customers.
A few hours later another coworker came in to work. We chatted away happily amongst the sale items and such. Suddenly she too stops and asks if I am going somewhere special. Upon my negative reply she states that I am dressed up. I look down at my attire. I really don't notice anything vastly different. Khaki capris- check. Blue nice t-shirt- check. Cute wedge flip flops- check. So okay, I look nice, but something has to be different. Then I feel it; the extra weight around my neck....the clunky blue stone necklace I bought years ago at Lane Bryant. I had added it on a whim today, feeling like a little something different.
Obviously the difference was vast. I had not only one, but two people comment. The power of the accessory is great. So, my advice to you is that if you want to add a little spring to your step, a little zing to your zang, a little extra something..... invest in accessories. They can make the common seem uncommon.

Car shopping concluded

So, did you know that car shopping can make you feel physically ill? Yep- it does. First of all, we bought a car today. This is a good thing and I think we paid a fair price. BUT, here it comes, I feel sick to my stomach and upset. This is what happens to me when I spend (or commit to spend) a large sum of money. My innards get knotted and twist and turn and make my life unpleasant. Then my mood plummets and I can't enjoy myself or my new purchase. Nothing but time will ease my plight. I should be overjoyed and jumping up and down, but I am not. My husband can barely contain his glee at our new ride, but tries to keep a lid on it for fear of making me more upset. It is a double edged sword.

I sit here and wonder what is wrong with me. I should be happy that I have a new vehicle- a swagger wagon to boot. This car will be perfect for my family for the next few years.

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...

car shopping

So, we have been shopping for a new car. Can I just tell you how much car shopping sucks? Well, it does. As my sister commented, it is worse than bathing suit and jean shopping rolled into one. Seriously, there are so many different options. There is make, model, year and then there are all the little options! I haven't even broached the price.

As soon as you arrive in the lot, the salesmen are :
"I will give you a great deal."
"Just let me work with some numbers."
"I will give you top dollar on your trade in."
"Not a problem."
"We can do that for you."
They don't mention that they don't really have the clout. They rope you in and then hand you off to the head honcho. One place took off a mere $100. Most places took off a few hundred. Then you feel the pressure and the feeling of "Oh crap- if I don't buy it now, someone else will. What if this is the car I need? What if???" Then when you do decide to go home and think about it they sell the car to someone else. OR they tell you they have a specific car on the lot and you drive 45 minutes to see it and they miraculously "sold it" while you were in transit. Aghhhh!

OK- that is merely the tip of the oh shit car shopping iceberg.

So we may or may not get a new car tomorrow. We have been looking for about a week and a half.... hopefully we get a new one soon. I really hate car shopping.

A little encouragement

With a huge grin, sparkling inquisitive eyes, a tilt of her head and the mere statement of "More, Mommy!", my 8 year old daughter gave me the courage to continue on my writing endeavor.
Yesterday I read the intro and first 2 chapters of my ongoing attempt at writing a children's chapter book to my 2 girls. Brinly was so excited. She thought the characters were them when in truth the characters are just loosely based on my girls. She started out reading the piece, but then was so impatient I took over and read aloud to both girls. They loved it! I am not sure if it was the fact I had written it or the content. Regardless, it gave me some sorely lacking confidence.
Thus, The Adventures of Hazelbelle and Violet are once more underway. There is a mystery to be solved!

Got carried away

So, I have learned that I shouldn't write while I am in a bad mood. I tend to be a little wordy when writing, putting emotion and power behind words unnecessarily. Add on to all this emotion the fact that my 5 year old was nagging constantly that she was hungry. (She had just eaten an enormous amount at breakfast... go figure.) While it is totally true that I need to get healthy and lose some weight, I do not feel like it is the end of the world by any means. I was channeling anger directed at myself (I tried on an outfit and it looked terrible.) and I was upset for someone very close to me. All those feelings combined and circled around inside me. They needed an outlet so I sat down and wrote.

Writing things down can be a wonderful avenue for venting frustrations, anger, happiness,love or sadness. Writing is an awesome way to express emotions. Sometimes I can get so wrapped up in the way the words and meanings flow together that I lose sight of its purpose. Does that make sense? I have such hopes and dreams of finally writing and being creative. I think I can get carried away.

So, my goal for this week is to start concentrating on my writing. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to lose a pound or two along the way... =)

Hard Decisions

Life is full of decisions... some easy and some hard. I know it sounds so cliche, but it is true. We all face them and we all deal with them differently. Some people spend money, some get sick, some eat, some can't sleep and others act like nothing is wrong. I am one of those lucky ones that lose sleep. I lay in bed and toss and turn and stare at the ceiling while rapid thoughts fire through my head. It is frustrating and I often turn into a major grump. Couple that grumpiness with stress from all that decision making and I am sure you can imagine what my poor family suffers. In addition I also tend to eat. Not good.

So lately I have had numerous personal decisions to make. I have done the obvious... I have avoided them until the lack of sleep has turned me into a surly monster. My outlook on my life in dull. I used to have such vibrant hopes and now I find myself quite boring. I have never been what one would call spontaneous, but I used to be a lot more fun. Yet, I do nothing to rectify the situation. Sure, I get a new hairdo or I get my nails painted, but that is just camouflaging the problem. I am almost 40 years of age. I should be able to do it. I should, but I have fallen into this comfort zone and I am too scared to get out. I feel embarrassed and ashamed, but still I do nothing. Why? Because it puts me back out there; accountable. At this point I am sure you are wondering what the heck I am talking about. I am talking about me.... I need to get back in shape and healthy. I need to do it not only for me, but my family. Because where I am right now isn't healthy- mentally or physically. But as I said, I am almost 40. It is hard to leave my comfort zone and watch every morsel of food, count every calorie and get my big butt to the gym. I find every excuse. But now my body is starting to get mad at me.... my back hurts, my knee hurts, I can't do the things I had always imagined doing with my children. Brian, the girls and the rest of my family mean too much to me for me to no longer do nothing. I need to be happy and healthy. It is embarrassing and to be honest, I can't believe that I am writing it down. But see, for me, this is my first baby step. I am getting it out there and now I am accountable.

This is only one of the hard decisions I am making, but the others will just have to take the back burner for now. It is just a drop in the bucket that is my life. I have come to this crossroads so many times. I never seem to stay on the right path. I am not a young chicken anymore; my body is used to its current state of laziness. The constant unsaid pressure that I feel is such a burden and makes me want to cry. Crying is only an option for so long though.

Life choices are never easy. Whether it is getting a new job, ending a relationship, or getting your life on the right path, all these choices take a drain on us. How we deal with them is often one of the hardest parts. Me? Well, at this point sleep is a rare and wonderful thing. I seriously can not remember the last time I slept through the night. I am hoping to get a new bed for my birthday and am keeping my fingers crossed that between that and my new life choice, I may once again slumber in peace. As of Monday morning, food will be my enemy or perhaps a new friend. I have yet to make that decision.